The Very Secret Thoughts of RV
by Miss Pennyfeather
Summary: Just like the title suggests: Because Romilda deserves a story, doesn't she? R&R.


_**Yeah, I'm not really sure about this story, but it popped up in my head. Mainly because I was looking for an interesting female and found one. I think Romilda Vane deserves more attention. I don't like that girl in the movie, I mean she's pretty I'll give you that, but she seems to have next to no personality and Romilda in the book...well, she's not that great there either, so I decided I'd write my own version of her. Yeah, totally not in character I guess, but you never know what some teenage girls hide... Anyhoo, just to warn you, this girl swears like a sailor sometimes and has radical opinions.**_

_**So enjoy! And it would be nice if you could review and tell me what you think. I don't know if I should leave it as a one-shot, but that depends on how many plot-bunnies I can come up with for her.**_

_**So...without further ado....  
**_

**_The Very Secret Thoughts of R.V._**

There've been a lot of bad rumours about me regarding Harry Potter. At first they didn't bother me because I have other important things to do like change a socket, but I'm starting to get really ticked off by them.

When will blokes forget about that one unfortunate incident? It's not like I killed the man. I was interested in him for a while mostly because he's famous, can and probably will be very rich in his future and a high position in the Ministry already has his name on it. He just has to avoid getting killed.

The love potion was just an experiment so that I could see whether stimulating goals could turn you into a better Potioneer. My conclusion is that it does (nine cases out of ten) so I derived a useful thing from this attempt.

Anyone who will say I am obsessed with Harry Potter clearly has never heard of priorities and that Romilda Vane can't waste a single wrinkle on emotionally-scarred sixteen year-olds that wear glasses.

That said, I think the world should move the sod on and find a new topic, like those holes in the ozone level. You'd think that's more important because without ozone we'd be screwed literally, but no, people around here care about Potter's social life or lack thereof.

I'm not trying to sound like a flaming bitch, I do appreciate what this bloke is doing for us and I know that he's probably carrying a big weight, but I guess I do have to be a bitch and say that he should stop dramatizing every aspect of his life and just enjoy the peaceful days when someone is not trying to get him. His life is already a big, fat joke so the least he could do is cuss Dumbledore every now and then for putting him in this position and just walk around with no care in the world, have fun and play a drinking game.

As for me, I'm going to pretend I can't hear the miserable fucks who still hang on to this dead story. I have a very busy life right now. For one, I just ordered the new catalogue from Burberry and I'm dying to use all my money to buy these gorgeous clothes. If this makes me look like an idiot, I should tell you that other chaps around here waste their money on school items, plastic candies or Every Flavour Beans. Yeah, I feel pretty smart around here.

I'm thinking of buying that white cotton dress with those black boots and tight black belt and I think I'm going to done that fun colorful bracelet.

Now before you go haywire on me you should know that I'm a very proud-about-my-origins Muggleborn, so if any of you pretentious pricks out there have a problem with this fun fact, I'll just toss my giant Fendi bag in your head and watch you cry.

As you've probably noticed, looks count for me a whole lot and looks do count in general. Any emancipated twat of a female that tells you otherwise is either ugly or thinks that being bold and forward makes men want to bed her instantly. Some shite like that, don't expect me to understand those losers.

Apart from that, I'm still pretty much at a loss why I'm in Gryffindor. Not that I don't like my mates, running around giving each other hugs and recounting their life stories (expecting us all to care of course), but if I were stuck in a giant hole and it would be me or those tossers I'd probably pick myself, so that doesn't make me very brave or noble but there's life for you.

I wonder if that old hat can place _anyone_ in a House. It's pretty obvious to me that some people will not fit in anywhere but the hat just browses through their heads for some undiscovered traits and instantly makes a connection. Like say, it finds out that someone likes knitting. That automatically makes it think of someone boring and patient so Hufflepuff it is for the poor bloke.

I think the hat just saw I liked tennis and thought that if I can dodge those crazy balls, I am fit for Gryffindor.

I get really pissed off with those sad farts that still hold on to these tags after school. My older sis who's in college right now, has to face comments like "But how could I possibly talk to that ominous guy when he was in Slytherin?", "Come on, lend the notes, be a Hufflepuff!"

I'd personally stick a pen in their heads and suck out all that insidious Hogwarts spirit that's congesting their brains.

I've got three more years to go in this harmony house and I have to admit I enjoy the place. Of course, these days, you can't eat your oatmeal at breakfast, or sit in the library with a book or even sleep at night cos everyone's talking about the same big issue: Voldemort.

And yeah, being a Muggleborn and all that I am terrified of that bloke and his fascist ideas, but honestly now, as much as I want to see the sucker dead and live in a carefree world, I don't understand why wizards don't try and use muggle help for this fucker.

And no, not necessarily muggle people. How about weapons? We've got loads of idiotic, deathly weapons that we use to spread chaos and pain. Why not finally use them in a good way and shoot this bastard in the arse?

I never understood this dumb pride wizards seem to sport about not acting like muggles. Yeah, be an idiot and get killed, you git.

I think if wizards and muggles worked together on this, that tosser would be dead in a month.

But that's just me, little Romilda Vane, giving my opinion on general things.


End file.
